Why do I feel stuck? How can I become more creative? What can I do to improve my relationships? If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, you’re not alone. On Hidden Brain, we help you understand your own mind — and the minds of the people around you. (We're routinely rated the #1 science podcast in the United States.) Hosted by veteran science journalist Shankar Vedantam.

Last week on the show, we looked at the science of conversation, and how even ordinary chats can involve a delicate dance of coordination. This week, we explore the discussions we all dread: the tough ones. Telling someone they treated us poorly. Demanding a raise. Taking away an elderly relative's car keys. We talk with <a href="https://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Pages/profile.aspx?facId=684820">Alison Wood Brooks</a> about what makes difficult conversations difficult, and a series of psychological techniques to help you navigate them.If you missed part one of our conversation with Alison, be sure to check it out! It's titled "<a href="https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/we-need-to-talk/">We Need to Talk</a>."  Shankar also mentioned our episode with Julia Minson, in which we discuss how to keep conflicts from spiraling. You can <a href="https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/relationships-2-0-how-to-keep-conflict-from-spiraling/">find that conversation here</a>.

Hidden Brain

The Conversations that Bring Us Closer

Just because we’ve been doing something for a long time doesn’t mean we’re doing it right. One part of our lives where this may be particularly true is when we're talking with others. This week, we bring you the first of a two-part look at what makes someone skilled at socializing. Behavioral scientist <a href="https://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Pages/profile.aspx?facId=684820">Alison Wood Brooks</a> explains why conversations are much more complex than most of us realize — and how to engage in a more meaningful back-and-forth with another person.For more of our work on the art of conversation, check out these classic Hidden Brain episodes: <a href="https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/why-conversations-go-wrong/">Why Conversations Go Wrong</a><a href="https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/relationships-2-0-how-to-keep-conflict-from-spiraling/">Relationships 2.0: How to Keep Conflict from Spiraling</a>

We Need to Talk

Holding a grudge can feel like a form of justice, a way of punishing those who have wronged us. But psychologist <a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/profile/fred_luskin" target="_blank">Fred Luskin</a> says that more often than not, grudges don't hurt the targets of our anger. Instead, they only hurt us. This week, we explore the lingering effects of long-standing animosities, and how to let them go.If you enjoyed today's conversation, be sure to check out these classic Hidden Brain episodes about apologies and forgiveness:<a href="https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/the-power-of-mercy/">The Power of Mercy</a><a href="https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/the-power-of-apologies/">Healing 2.0: The Power of Apologies</a><a href="https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/how-to-make-amends/">How to Make Amends</a>

No Hard Feelings

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." It's been 45 years since John Lennon sang that line, yet it's an idea that continues to speak to an uncomfortable truth. While we all like to think we have some measure of control over how our lives will unfold, our plans are often upended by unknown events and curveballs we couldn't have predicted. This week, we conclude our Wellness 2.0 series by talking with political scientist <a href="https://www.ucl.ac.uk/political-science/research/research-centres-groups/centre-us-politics-cusp/find-expert/dr-brian-klaas">Brian Klaas</a>. He studies how we respond to the random events that shape our lives, and how we can turn them to our advantage.If you enjoy this episode, be sure to check out "Wellness 2.0: Engineering Luck," our companion conversation with Brian Klass for Hidden Brain+ subscribers. We'll talk about the unexpected benefits of embracing the role of randomness and chance in our lives. If you're not yet a member of Hidden Brain+, this is a particularly good time to give our podcast subscription a try. We’re extending our standard seven-day trial period for listeners on Apple Podcasts. Sign up in January and you’ll get 30 free days to try it out. If you're listening in Apple Podcasts, just go to the Hidden Brain show page and click "try free." Or you can go to <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hidden-brain/id1028908750?at=1010l3ab3&ct=hiddenbrain_podcasts&itsct=hiddenbrain_podcasts&itscg=30200S&ls=1">apple.co/hiddenbrain</a> and click "try free.” Thanks for listening and supporting the show — we really appreciate it.

Hidden Brain, Shankar Vedantam

Hidden Brain by Hidden Brain, Shankar Vedantam

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